parenting

What I Didn’t Know About Juneteenth

Amber 4 Comments

Yesterday afternoon, George announced to me, “Tomorrow I’m getting off work early in honor of Juneteenth!”

I replied, “I know some about Juneteenth, but I don’t remember really learning about it in school.”

George, “I think it was ONE sentence at the end of the chapter about the Civil War.”

That speaks volumes. We’d both taken history classes throughout public education and also in college and we knew so little. Time to dig deeper. What exactly is Juneteenth?

  • The Emancipation Proclamation was signed by President Lincoln on January 1, 1863.
  • Despite the Emancipation Proclamation, many slave owners continued to hold their slaves captive after the announcement for continued harvests.
  • On June 19, 1865 (2.5 years after the Emancipation Proclamation), Major General Gordon Granger arrived in Galveston, TX to announce the end of both the Civil War and slavery.
  • On January 1, 1980, Juneteenth officially became a Texas state holiday.
  • Juneteenth is currently recognized as a state holiday in 47 of 50 states.

“The people of Texas are informed that in accordance with a Proclamation from the Executive of the United States, all slaves are free. This involves an absolute equality of rights and rights of property between former masters and slaves, and the connection heretofore existing between them becomes that between employer and hired laborer.”

General Order Number 3 as read by General Granger

Juneteenth has been a state holiday in our home state of Texas our entire lives and not once have we celebrated it. As neighbors to Mexico, Texans celebrate Cinco de Mayo with gusto. Yet, many of us haven’t given much thought to what marks a national historical event (not that we all know what Cinco de Mayo is really about, but I digress). I feel confident in saying Black Americans are well versed in the history of Juneteenth and have been celebrating it every. single. year. It hurts my heart that this holiday has been seen as something for black people when we should be unified celebrating this day together.

Today marks the first year my family is celebrating Juneteenth. We’re having conversations about history, ordering dinner from a local Black owned restaurant, and signed this petition to make Juneteenth a national holiday. In addition, we are continuing to do the work to better understand race.

Sources: Junteenth Fact Sheet, Junteenth World Wide Celebration

If you are ready to embark on the journey of anti-racism, here are some places to begin.

Websites:

Black Lives Matter – I have read a lot of misinformation about this particular organization. Also, after a thoughtful debate with a Facebook friend, I realized that this organization is perhaps too liberal for some conservatives. If that is the case for you, I encourage you to look at the big picture goal of ending white supremacy/ racial oppression. Perhaps you do not fully align with the organization itself, but might be able to consider ways to advocate for social justice and anti-racism and recognize that black lives matter? I implore you to do the research.

Be the Bridge

Be the Bridge Facebook Group

Books:

White Fragility

Waking Up White: Why It’s So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism

Documentary:

The Uncomfortable Truth

On my reading list:

Raising White Kids

Me and White Supremacy

Be the Bridge

Color of the Law

Tears We Cannot Stop

The Nickel Boys

How to Be an Antiracist

If you are a person of color,

I want you to know, I am leaning in and listening to you. I hear your stories, I see you. To you, I make these promises:

I will continue to learn and grow in my awareness of race.

I will engage in conversations about race.

I will be your ally.

I will advocate for social justice.

I will vote for social justice.

I will model for and teach my children all of the above.

in peace,

Amber

How Dance Can Benefit Your Child’s Early Development

Amber 4 Comments

When the kids were almost three I enrolled them in dance lessons for a myriad of reasons. I’m glad I did as today guest writer, Wendy Dressler, shares the benefits for dance for children.

Children develop at an incredible rate, especially when introduced to stimuli that encourage targeted use of their motor skills and minds. Dance is one of the many extracurricular activities that can assist with early childhood development and perhaps one of the most versatile.

If you’ve been looking for ways to help your child develop and reach their full potential, consider enrolling them in dance classes. Here are a few of the ways dance assists with development.

Social Engagement

While not viewed as a traditional team sport, dance necessitates a combination of both independent development and collaboration. Everything from syncing movements during a choreographed performance to sporting matching accessories for dance from Just for Kix helps your child become an active member of a community of like-minded individuals. The shared effort, passion, and teamwork helps a child develop social skills that will stay with them throughout their lives.

Bring a part of a dance class also teaches social behaviors like respect for authority figures and mutual respect among peers. Dancing helps develop emotional intelligence and the ability to empathize with others.

Physical Wellness

An appreciation for physical health and wellness should be cultivated at an early age, and dance can make that possible. At a base level, dance helps young children develop an awareness of their body and how they fit into the space around them. It assists with developing coordination and balance through the application of gross motor skills, plyometrics, and isometric holds.

As physical fitness is essential for improved cardiovascular health, disease prevention, and the development of muscular strength and endurance, the benefits of starting dance at a young age are immeasurable. This form of art in motion helps counteract the time spent sitting at school or on mobile screens that have become so accessible in recent years. As the disruption caused by blue light becomes more evident, movement and screen-free time is becoming more important for overall health and wellness.

Emotional Intelligence and Expression

Dance is a powerful way to express emotion through movement. Anger, sadness, joy– the whole spectrum of human emotion can be conveyed during the dance. For children, identifying emotions is a learning process. Figuring out how to express them is another task entirely, one that many adults never learn. With dance, children can learn how a certain emotion sounds, feels and looks.

Not only does learning to identify and convey emotions benefit the child as they learn to communicate and interact with the world around them, but it also helps them identify emotions in others. This will help them develop emotional intelligence and empathy.

Learning How to Learn

Dance isn’t always fun and games. Your child will have to learn how to follow directions and focus on the task at hand. This requires listening attentively to their instructor and paying attention to the instructions. In other words, your child will learn how to learn. This valuable skill will carry over to the school and beyond.

Finally, through the process of learning how to learn, your child will learn that perseverance is the key to success. Mistakes will be made, but so will progress. With time and dedication, a seemingly insurmountable task will become routine, and your child’s confidence will blossom.

Dancing benefits both the body and the mind, creating a strong foundation for early childhood development.

About Wendy 
Wendy is a super-connector with Outreachmama who helps businesses find their audience online through outreach, partnerships, and networking. She frequently writes about the latest advancements in digital marketing and focuses her efforts on developing customized blogger outreach plans depending on the industry and competition.

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One Massive Challenge

Amber 3 Comments

As a mom of quadruplets, I’m accustomed to questions from curious a passersby, friends, and co workers.  I think I’ve heard or  been asked *almost everything.  Many people marvel at the amazing aspects of having quads, “One and done!” and “They always have a friend”.  This is all true!  Parenting quadruplets is wonderful, and we enjoy these perks.  Most people also anticipate the obvious challenges inherent with raising quads: what it was like caring for four infants, diapering four infants, the expenses, etc.  These all challenges we face, but there really is one massive challenge we face: being first time parents to four children at the same time.  There is no learning curve for us, we have to figure everything out for four children simultaneously.  For us, the first time is also our last time.  With each stage, we learn new things, conquering new challenges, and feeling confident in our parenting skills.  But, almost as soon as we figure it out, that stage is gone.  Just. Like. That.

Tomorrow these sweet babies will graduate from kindergarten and this phase too is gone.  I’m oh so proud of these once itty bitty preemies who can now read, write, and count to 100, but it is bittersweet indeed.   Please excuse me while I ugly cry.

Way to go, Rylin, Harper, Sydney, and Mason!

 

©FourtoAdore

 

 

 

 

 

A New Normal

Amber 2 Comments

It’s been two weeks since we dropped our babies off in kindergarten.  Overall, we are doing well with it, but it’s certainly a new normal.  It seems that every time we settle into a new routine, the season changes and we find ourselves adjusting.  Such is quad life!

We started a tradition of obligatory first day photos with a framed sign.  Snag your own set for free at Paper Trail Design.

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On the first day of school, the kids excitedly followed our chalk drawings down the street toward school.

 

 

 

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Nisey and Poppa joined us for the big first day drop off.  I was really proud of all of us, not a single tear was shed.  At least not on the first day.  Parents take their children to the classroom door on the first two days of school.  The third day is “Independence Day”, which means the kids are dropped off at the front door and navigate to their classrooms (older students help the littles for a few days).  All four kids hopped out of the car without a fuss (whew!).  As  I watched them walk away, the waterworks started…I sobbed all the way to work.  I was totally unprepared to watch them walk away.  Our sweet teachers sent class photos later in the morning entitled “They all made it!!” I flipped out a little when I couldn’t find Mason in the sea of kids, but was relieved when the teacher responded, “Someone jumped in front of him, you can see his little thumb.”

Drop offs have since gotten better, and pick ups are always the highlight of my day.  I can’t wait to see these little faces running towards me.  After the first day I learned to do a bag check- folder, lunch box, water bottle, and jackets.  We only made it home with 75% of the lunch boxes on the first day of school.  Sydney’s was left on her locker, but thankfully was still there the next morning.

 

Rylin and Harper are in the same class and share a locker.  Sydney and Mason are in another class, and also share a locker.  This is fantastic because my type A personalities are supporting their Type B siblings as they learn organization and responsibility.

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I’ve been impressed with the kids teachers and really appreciate the time they’ve taken to share photos of what happens.  One of the hardest things about sending the kids to school is not knowing what they do all day.  Of course, they share their own accounts of things, but it can be cryptic and discombobulated.  Rylin knows every single rule and every child in her class, but she is also very literal.   For example, after going to P. E., she reported, “We just walk in circles.  We do not run, and our teacher doesn’t know because she’s in a meeting.”  From working in schools, I knew this wasn’t the whole story.  I happen to know the coach so I jokingly asked him why he was having the kids walk monotonous circles.  He explained they were learning whistle commands and basic rules of the gym.  Since that lesson, they’ve learned several games, and I believe do run.

The kids’ school is large, but has a warm, welcoming culture rich with tradition.  One such tradition is the first Friday of school is “Western Day” where the kids and staff all wear western attire.  We talked about it all week and sifted through closets to pull together combinations of denim, bandanas, and plaid.  However, Mason was the ONLY child who actually wore his ensemble to school.  I don’t think the kids realized what special attire meant.  Hopefully next time they’ll participate.

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The kids completed their first homework assignments for a “Chicka Chicka Boom Boom” unit.  Each child brought home an enlarged initial, which they cut out and covered in items beginning with their initials.   Despite my urges to help them cut everything pretty and design them according to my vision, I let the kids do everything with limited guidance.  We had fun sifting through piles of stickers and brainstorming lists of items, which we tried to procure or create.  They were so proud of themselves, and I was too.  Unfortunately, Harper learned a hard lesson.  Just doing the homework isn’t enough.  You also have to turn it into the teacher.  I’m not sure what happened, but Harper’s folder came back home with his project and no teacher note.  I suspect he left his folder in his backpack all day.

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The kids also went to the library and each chose a book to take home.  As soon as they got home, the four of them sat right outside the mudroom to peruse their finds.

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Much to everyone’s excitement, last Friday was Grandparent’s Day.  Nisey, Granddaddy, and Carol were able to join the kids for lunch.  I can’t wait to join them myself!  Speaking of me….people have been asking just what I’m doing with all my time.  I increased my hours at work, but I was able to work out a schedule with my director that allows me to drop the kids off, and pick them up from school.  I don’t have loads of free time, but I’ve had just enough to do the grocery shopping SOLO, and I’m finding time to take better care of myself (hello, doctor and dentist appointments).  I’m also finding that since we are apart all day, the kids and I are savoring our time together.  Oh, and it’s much easier to keep the house clean since the kids are constantly creating tornadoes around themselves AND kids go to bed much more quickly since kindergarten is exhausting work.

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Stay tuned for more kindergarten adventures!

hugs,

Amber

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‘Twas the Night Before Kindergarten

Amber Leave a comment

Five years ago George and I were up to our eyeballs in bottles and diapers.  Every. Single. Day. we prepared 32 bottles and changed an equal number of diapers. We ran on Keurig fumes and naps of about 90 minutes.  We often wondered if we’d survive that stage.   Somehow we did because tomorrow our bright eyed, curious five year olds begin kindergarten.  People keep asking me how I’m doing.  I *think I’m okay with this.  Yes, it is bittersweet watching your babies grow up, but there are new beginnings to celebrate.  Tonight a friend sent me these words of encouragement:

If nothing ever changed, we’d have no butterflies.

-Unknown

I am excited about the future for our children.  Despite being large, their school has a culture of family and warmth that cultivates a love of learning.  When we met the kindergarten teachers Thursday night, each child was given a bag of Jitter Glitter.  After reading bedtime stories, they happily spread it under their pillows.

Once everyone was fast asleep, Poppa, George, and I decorated the sidewalks on our street with words and pictures of encouragement.

Backpacks and shoes are lined up in the mudroom.

I packed special lunches, including lunch box notes and Hershey’s kisses.

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George and I couldn’t help but compare meal prep now to five years ago.   It might be a different meal, but we are still awake late at night prepping meals for the next day.

Make bottles for multiples for 24 hours at a time

Let there be butterflies!

Amber

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DIY Tips for Planning Parties for Multiples

Amber 1 Comment

It is hard to believe, but I am in the beginning stages of planning a FIFTH birthday for my babies.  It seems that I was just planning their first birthday, and here were are on #5. Guest author, Wendy Dessler, shared a few ideas for planning the big bash this year.

Each of our children is special and their birthday is a particularly important day. When you are the parent of multiple kids born on the same day, giving each of them their special experience can be a challenge. It’s unrealistic to host multiple parties and expect guests to attend each one.  But you can have a shared party for your multiples and still make each child feel special. It just takes a little planning and creativity.

 More bang for your buck

If your children were born on different days of the year, you would be hosting different parties, complete with unique sets of decorations, cakes, gifts, and of course the expenses are multiplied. As the parent of multiples, you can combine the funds and have one big celebration. For the same money you would have spent, you can have pony rides, rent a bouncer for the entire day, have costumed superheroes attend or have a talent show.

Instead of multiple cakes, have a candy buffet

Candy buffets are very popular right now, and as the parent of multiples, you can easily make that work to your advantage. Set up an 8’ table, or two 6’ tables. Zone the tables so that each child has his or her own section. Your table covering for each child should be a different color, using craft paint to write their name on the front of the cover in their zone is a nice touch. Each zone will have a theme based on the likes and style of each child. For example, one zone may be a Barbie theme, another section may be a baseball theme, the third may be all about bugs, and the fourth may be teddy bears. Allow each child to choose their theme. Buy your candy in bulk and have it sent directly to you. Each zone should feature two main colors. Create matching backdrops and you have a really great quad-candy buffet. If you need more information on how to set up a candy buffet, please click here.

 Set up the venue in four zones as well, allowing each child his special table.

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Shared Birthday = shared gifts?

It happens. People buy one gift for multiple children to share. Multiples are not unlike any other child. They want their own gift and sharing with siblings is a tough request. So how do you get around the shared gifter?

 Request a no gift party. Explain to the children that the party is a great celebration, and it may be difficult for some of our friends to afford multiple gifts. Here are some favored variations:

 Note on the invitation that no gifts are expected, but if they feel inclined to bring a gift, please bring one gift for the children to share. Then divide the gifts among the children, allowing each to open a few.

  • Limit the gifting to one gift per child per family.
  • If the children are inviting their own friends, you could note, “You are invited to Bobby’s 6th birthday party. You are not expected to bring a gift for child A, B, or C.

While some people feel uncomfortable, my favorite idea is to have a 5 & 5 party. You explain to the guests that you request $10.00 for the gift. $5.00 will be donated to the charity of the child’s choice and the other $5.00 is collected for the gift. The children can buy one item or the money can be divided equally between them.

 There is no right way or wrong way to host a party for multiples. So use your imagination and have some fun!

About Wendy 
Wendy is a super-connector with Outreachmama who helps businesses find their audience online through outreach, partnerships, and networking. She frequently writes about the latest advancements in digital marketing and focuses her efforts on developing customized blogger outreach plans depending on the industry and competition.

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Financial Responsibility

Amber Leave a comment

piggy bank

Almost a year ago, Rylin stunned me when she started making her bed. I always try to foster independence with the kids, but sometimes I really underestimate them, and this was a perfect example.  After I praised her profusely and bragged about her newfound skill, Rylin became diligent about this new self-assigned chore.  Every. Single. Day.  On occasion, the other kids would follow suit and try their hand at bed making.  With this, I learned the kids could really be helpful with chores, I started asking them to do other things.

All four kids now proudly help me sort, fold, and put away their laundry.  This has been life changing, ya’ll!  Laundry for a family of six can easily consume lots of time, but with my laundry secret and the kids’ help it’s pretty simple now. Rylin asked if she could vacuum the kitchen after dinner then took it upon herself to banish crumbs, dust, and dander throughout the house.  Forget the Roomba, I have quadruplets!  Okay, maybe I might still covet a Roomba, but having the kids help is really a life saver.

 

I eventually decided it was time for the kids to earn an allowance for successful chore completion, particularly for those which are self-initiated or go above and beyond basic room maintenance.  For Christmas, each of the kids received a Coin-Counting Money Jar.  I chose these particular jars because they track the money, coins are visible, and they are easy to open.  We personalized them and put them on a shelf they can access in the playroom.  They’ve been very respectful of each other’s jars and only access them to add coins or check to see what they’ve earned.  They also do really well about telling their friends the coin jars are not toys or to be touched.

“Though small was your allowance
You saved a little store
And those who save a little
Shall get a plenty more.”
– William Makepeace Thackeray

Over time, they really enjoyed watching the coins accumulate.  When they finally had enough cash to make small purchases, we took a trip to Walmart.  Each child was given a budget based upon their savings, and was encouraged to buy something they truly loved, while leaving a little money for later.  They did surprisingly well with this task and made sensible purchases given the parameters.  Because they purchased these particular toys with their own money, they treat them with a little more respect than other toys they own.  When we later read Betty Bunny Wants Everything, they understood the importance of making decisions when shopping.

All four kids are eagerly completing chores in an effort to earn and save money for the next shopping excursion.

hugs!

Amber

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Class Full

Amber 2 Comments

Having high order multiples, or even just a large family, poses certain challenges. One of those challenges is with extracurricular activities, especially for toddlers and preschoolers- think budgeting, class times, transportation, supplies, ect.  When the kids were babies, and then toddlers, swimming lessons were out of the question. It would’ve been impossible to attend “Mommy and Me” classes with one Mommy and four babies. By age three, the kids were eligible for group swimming lessons, but it seemed daunting, and I didn’t believe they’d generalize skills from one year to the next.

Now that the kids are nearly five years old, and headed to kindergarten in the fall, I decided it was time. I began researching local swim schools. I poured over pricing, class times, student teacher ratio, and location. Once I determined the swim school, I had to contend with the enrollment process. With swimming lessons, the maximum class size is typically four students, meaning our kids would comprise an ENTIRE class. On one hand, this was great news because our family basically got a private class, but it also meant securing such a class. I contacted the owner of our chosen swim school about our crew.  He was able to create a class for us, but we had two wait two months for it to open, and it was in the evening.  We didn’t mind the wait since there was a small multiple student discount, and our kids could be in one class.

In order to hype the kids up about their upcoming lessons, we went shopping for supplies, which included swim suits, swim caps, and goggles. The swim suits were an easy sell, but swim caps and goggles were a bit more challenging. Thankfully, we found adorable kitten and shark swim caps and goggles in the kids’ favorite colors.

When the big day arrived for the first lesson, the kids were stoked and got dressed nearly two hours early.  Before class, they watched other kids taking lessons and eagerly awaited their turn.

At the start of class, the instructors called each of our kids by name. Much to my surprise, they immediately reported for class and hopped right in the water. Despite a history of fearing water and screaming over being splashed, they quickly warmed up to the class and instructors.

Because the class is in the evening, we discovered it was best to shower the kids at the gym and dress them in pajamas. Then, they have a snack on the way home. This allows them to brush teeth and get to bed on time, which is a huge win!


Hugs!

Amber

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Mental Declutter

Amber 1 Comment

HELLO!!!

I know…. It’s been months since I last spent time here, and coming back was surprisingly hard.  After Christmas I was feeling “cluttered” by not only physical things, but mentally.  We tackled a few home organization projects, which helped ease my anxiety about stuff.  The mental clutter was far heavier for me, creating feelings of angst and discomfort.

In this season of life, my mind is constantly racing. At any given moment my brain whirs, I might be thinking about

homeschool activities

social commitments

keeping up with household chores

impending deadlines at work

the political climate

home maintenance

our budget

Each of these things is important, but the list is literally endless.  IT’S TOO MUCH!!! I’ve found that my mind needs time to rest, space to be silent. Knowing this, I finally returned to my yoga practice. Prior to having the kids, yoga was part of my life- I came to my mat several times weekly, nurturing my body and mind.  Unfortunately, life got in the way. I allowed barriers to keep me from yoga: my new body, childcare, to-dos, budget, and of course time.

I struggle with practicing yoga independently and need an instructor, but getting to a studio wasn’t in the cards (remember those barriers?!?!?)  I checked out a few DVDs from the library and wasn’t impressed.  Next, I started streaming videos from Amazon Prime and discovered Yoga Merge.  I’ve found a good variety of practice options with Yoga Merge that I chose based on my time and particular needs (e.g. stretching, relaxation, restoration, ect).  During my practice, I finally let go of my to-dos and worries.  After practice, my mind feels clear and I’m energized, ready to tackle what awaits.

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I know this mental clutter is not a struggle for me alone.  I see it on the weary faces of my friends, family, and co-workers.  In this society, we are constantly bombarded by stimuli and pressure to do.  If you don’t already have an outlet for mental clutter, I encourage you to try yoga at a gym, studio, or at home.  If you’ve never practiced yoga, it can feel awkward at first, but don’t give up too quickly.  A good place to start is Beginner Yoga | 10 Yoga Poses Every Beginner Should Know, or you can visit Yoga Merge where you’ll find basic information about yoga and a few free videos to stream. Please don’t let barriers keep you from trying yoga, or finding another outlet for letting go of mental clutter.  You deserve it.

Namaste!

Amber

 

Disclaimer: All thoughts and opinions are my own.  I was not compensated for sharing my experience.  If you choose to make a purchase through Amazon, I will earn a small commission through the Amazon Affiliates program. 

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A Fancy Nancy Banquet

Amber 4 Comments

 

 

Before Thanksgiving, we borrowed Fancy Nancy: Our Thanksgiving Banquet from the library.  Fancy Nancy is among our favorite book characters.  She inspires the kids to use sophisticated vocabulary words and to behave with their best etiquette. In this particular book, Nancy has the opportunity to dine with the adults, away from the “kid” table.  Naturally, our kids wanted to do the same.  Just before packing away our fall decor, we decided to have a family dinner in our formal dining room with ceramic plates instead of our usual plastic fare.  The kids relished every second of it, and we were pleasantly surprised with their outstanding table manners.

When I set the table for Thanksgiving, I realized the table stayed pretty all season and didn’t collect junk.  I wanted to do the same with Christmas décor, so I set out to create an elegant Christmas tablescape.  George and I have twelve place settings of fine china, flatware, and crystal.  Over the course of our marriage, we’ve used it on special occasions such as anniversaries and holiday meals.  In twelve years we’ve probably used them no more than once a year.  Why?  Mostly because I don’t like hand washing dishes and our china isn’t dishwasher safe.  That’s ridiculous.  I decided that not only was our dining room table going to be set using our fine china, but we were also going to use it!

I gave the chandelier my usual dressing, garland adorned with my Old World Christmas Wedding Ornaments.  They are among my favorite ornaments, but are also quite delicate and are best away from little hands.  I then created a table runner with lime deco mesh, which I brightened with hurricane glass filled with candles and silver ornaments.  I thought our silver plated nativity was the perfect finishing touch and compliment to our china.

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We’ve already used the formal dining room twice this month and hand washing the dishes wasn’t such a hassle either time.  First, we celebrated my mom’s birthday with my parents, sister, and brother in law.  There was room for all ten of us at the table, and even the quads were allowed to use the china.   Then, my college room mates joined us for brunch.  On each occasion, our guests presumed the beautiful table was for show, and felt honored when they discovered it was for them.  If a milestone birthday and nearly two decades of friendship aren’t worthy of china dining, I don’t know what is.

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I’m not sure whether we’ll have more guests over before Christmas or not, but our table is gorgeous and awaiting another meal.  Even if we don’t have guests over, our family will enjoy it at least once more before I come up with a winter tablescape.

Do you have a formal dining area or fine china?  Do you use it?

hugs!

Amber

For more from Four to Adore, connect with us via Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest.  We often share pictures, life hacks, activities, recipes, and more via social media.