2 Days. 3 Parties. 4 Toddlers.

November 10, 2013Amber 9 Comments

In just two days, we attended three parties with four toddlers. WHEW! I’m considering pitching this to the Olympic committee as a new sport. In order to take the quadlets out for an evening, we literally begin prepping after breakfast. As soon as I finish cleaning breakfast, I check to make sure the diaper bag is stocked, and we have plenty of toys and snacks. While the quads enjoy a morning catnap, George and I ferociously shower and get dressed. After their nap, the quads are fed lunch and dressed. As I get them ready, George is responsible for loading the quad mobile. Once everything is organized, we begin the loading process. I start with the back row because it’s easier for me to slip back there while George works on the middle row. It’s expected that after at least two are loaded, someone has a foul diaper that needs attention. Once we start the loading process, the van is usually rolling down the driveway within about 10 minutes, and we are sweating profusely. Are you exhausted yet???

This weekend turned out to be a rather busy one. We were invited to a housewarming/ 30th birthday party and a shared children’s birthday party that began an hour later. Both of these parties were across town, but fortunately within close proximity to each other so we decided to make both. The next day, we had an early Thanksgiving dinner at my Grandmother’s house while my Aunt Susan visited from California. I don’t think we’ve hit three parties in a single weekend since college.

Party #1: Housewarming/ 30th Birthday

I was impressed that Aunt CiCi captured a picture with everyone looking at the camera with eyes open!

I was impressed that Aunt CiCi captured a picture with everyone looking (well, mostly) at the camera with eyes open!

For once, I asked someone to take a picture, here I’m with my sister and Kaylie. I always feel a bit weird when I’m somewhere with the quads and I’m not holding or chasing one. I find myself doing head counts often.

Terri loyally helps us care for the quads once a week while I go to work, and also when we have pediatrician appointments. She was so happy when they all gravitated towards her in a sea of unfamiliar faces. They know their caregivers!

Harper became Ed’s little buddy, accompanying him everywhere.

Whenever we go places with Nisey and Grandpa, Rylin seems to gravitate to Nisey who consoles her stranger danger. Somehow Rylin ended up greeting an unfamiliar guest AND she stayed with the guest for quite a while. When she spotted me, she gave the stink eye to her new-found friend.

Sydney always needs a little snuggle time with her “Big Me”.

Party #2: Birthday Party

After the quads soaked up all the attention they could at the first party, we loaded the quad mobile and followed our GPS to the next stop, my cousin, Jennifer’s house. There we were invited to celebrate the birthdays of her oldest two children. They always throw the best parties and I was so excited we were able to attend. They set up their backyard as a movie theater under the stars and screened Brave. Keeping up with the theme, hot dogs, popcorn, and candy were served.

Jennifer’s youngest child jumped right in with the quads and generously shared his toys.

Mason showed Grandpa how to tickle the ivories.

My cousin Lindsay and her cousin Julie got a little snuggle with Harper man.

Sydney loved the long hallways in the house and trotted off independently.

Mamaw absolutely adored the boys, especially when Mason crawled into her lap.

The quads enjoyed watching the birthday boy and girl blowing out candles.

Party #3

We rounded out the weekend with a traditional family Thanksgiving dinner/ family birthdays at Grandma’s house. After dinner, the quads had a chance to run freely in the front yard. They took turns noshing grass and chasing each other.

Sydney enjoyed being the center of attention and was fascinated with Cousin Rita’s braid.

Mason always gravitates to the twins, especially Michael.

When Rylin saw birthday candles she began saying “hot” and blowing.

Nisey found Thanksgiving outfits for the girls, and the boy’s Halloween shirts coordinated perfectly with them.

Our family with my grandparents.

What did you do this weekend?

hugs,

Amber

Shawver Shenanigans {with bonus video}

November 3, 2013November 11, 2013Amber 8 Comments

When I review the snapshots taken in a week’s time, it’s apparent that our lives are full of shenanigans, but that is what enriches us and makes life full of JOY! It’s a clear reminder why God thought quadruplets were just right for our family. Here are some of my favorite outtakes from the past few weeks-

1. For some reason, the quads are obsessed with sticking their fingers in other people’s mouths. They think it’s hilarious. They try to put their fingers in our mouths and constantly stick them in each others mouths. It happens ALL DAY LONG. While I was enjoying an Every Girl Gourmet cooking class, George was in charge of dinner and bedtime. After dinner, Mason began taunting Harper with his fingers that were also grasping a raisin. George let the camera roll to capture the insanity. Needless to say, this didn’t end well for someone. Here’s a video of the raisin taunting shenanigans-

2. One of our friends gave the quads a mini inflatable bounce house. George and I were stoked to use it the first day we had beautiful fall weather. George set it up in the backyard to use when the quads got up from nap. Much to our dismay, they did not appreciate this new toy just yet. Three of them screamed like banshees because of the sound the generator makes while keeping it inflated. After my cousin’s kids demonstrated proper bouncing technique, Rylin warmed up to the concept and became a bouncing monkey. I think they will enjoy it more in another month or two.

3. As I’ve mentioned before, Harper loves nothing more than to crawl into baskets, boxes, or cabinets. He recently began taking the drawer out of the kid’s kitchen set. He gets frustrated when we don’t allow him to push it along our hardwood floors or if he cannot fit inside.

4. We’ve used the same Tommee Tippee silicone bibs since we started spoon feeds at six months. These bibs have been fantastic for catching dribbles, drops, and spits. I simply wash them under scalding hot water and hang them on a drying rack until the next meal. As of the past few weeks, these bibs are no longer working for Sydney. Somehow, she’s managing to get food between the bib and her clothing causing major stains. She now wears a smock type bib with sleeves that covers her entire outfit. Harper on the other hand, finds the old bibs perfect for catching food he doesn’t prefer.

What’s shaking in your house?

hugs!

Amber

Four of a Kind

November 1, 2013Amber 8 Comments

Sometime after discovering we were expecting quads, George researched statistics and determined the chances of conceiving quadruplets to be about one in a million. We joked that we hit the “baby lottery”. George actually bought a lotto ticket, hoping we’d win the state lottery, but no avail. We’ve always considered having quadruplets to be a “win”. Keeping that in mind, I thought of the quad’s Halloween costume last year- Four of a Kind. Actually…I’m not sure I thought of it myself. Four of a Kind is relatively common for quadruplets because In poker, four of a kind is also known as “quads”. Anyways, I had my heart set on Four of a Kind last year, but the babies were too small for it. This year they were just the right size.

To bring this idea to life, I picked up a package of Hanes toddler undershirts and black and red duck fabric. George stenciled the suits and A’s onto the fabric, which we cut out. Because I have zero sewing ability, we enlisted our friend, Marianne, to help us with that part. She did a beautiful zig-zag stitch that should last long enough for several future generations of quadruplets to enjoy. (Thank you, Marianne!!!)

I’m sure everyone is tired of hearing this, but taking a picture of four active toddlers together is nearly impossible! We busted out the baby Adirondack chairs to contain them, but Mason kept escaping.

I’ve never been one to dress up on Halloween, but this year, I really wanted to do go all with our theme. I went onto Amazon and scored a Poker Dealer’s hat and arm bands for George, but was a bit puzzled about what I should wear. While perusing Amazon for George’s accessories, I noticed that the female counterpart to Poker Dealer was “Lady Luck”. Being a spendthrift, I wasn’t about to drop any cash on ordering a costume. Instead, I rifled through my own closet to pull something together. I think it turned out pretty well.

Four of a Kind wouldn’t be complete without a Poker Dealer and Lady Luck! It’s hard to see in the photo, but my hair clip is made of tiny playing cards (all aces) and poker chips.

Once our obligatory pictures were snapped, we set out for our very first excursion as Trick or Treaters. Thankfully, Nisey and our friend, Terri, joined us. The quads are all capable walkers, but they aren’t terribly efficient yet.

Just getting out the door posed a challenge for quaddlers.

Our first stop was across the street to Kent’s house. There, a huge bowl of peanut butter cups beckoned the quads, but they were hesitant to take any. Eventually Sydney gingerly chose a piece and the boys joined her.

Rylin protested choosing any candy and instead clung to Nisey.

Rylin, hon the other hand, protested choosing any candy and instead clung to Nisey.

Once we collected our fair share of peanut butter cups, we traveled to our next door neighbor, Kim’s house. There, Harper and Rylin had a blast picking Tootsie Rolls from her bucket and handing them to George. This ended up being our final stop as Trick or Treating was hard work this year.

Kim snuggled Sydney while the others picked through the candy bucket.

Each time Harper spied a bowl of candy a mischievous look swept over his face.

Each year, George prides himself in being the most decorated house on the block and this year was no exception. He laced our bushes with bright orange, purple, and lime lights, hung large letters reading “BOO” from our porch, and giant spiders crawling in our bushes. I didn’t snap a picture this year, but it looked similar to last Halloween. A few years ago, George and I grew weary of popping up from the sofa to dole out candy to voracious Trick or Treaters. Not to mention, it drove our fur babies insane hearing the door bell ring and rapping on the door. We began putting a baby gate in our doorway and posting up in the dining room. That allowed us to enjoy our traditional Halloween dinner (chili dogs and chips) while we greeted little spooks. Our usual plan worked perfectly for the quads. They had a fantastic time playing in an otherwise forbidden part of our home while also checking out all the visitors through the window.

Every year, George insists on putting skeleton bones out as part of his decor. I absolutely loathe the horrid things, but it’s a losing battle for me. George let the quads play with them and it looked a little grisly.

Lily took her role as official family greeter and hopped up at the edge of the gate with each new wave of Trick or Treaters.

Even though four babies toddled around the foyer and hundreds of kids visited us, Sasha found it fitting for a siesta.

When I was a kid, mom always made a pumpkin shaped cake of two bundt cakes. She made it once again for the quads.

What do you think the quads should be next year for Halloween?

Hugs!

Amber

In the Bunker

October 27, 2013Amber 2 Comments

George has always been fascinated with the weather. Even back in college he stood outside snapping pictures of a vicious twister as I hunkered down in the bathroom of my apartment. With the advent of smartphones, he began following the radar closely, and checking it several times per day. Last night, just as we followed the quad’s bedtime ritual he noticed a hook on the radar directly over our neighborhood. We switched on the T.V. to see what our local meteorologists had to say about it. Nothing. The World Series played but there were no banners or interruptions. We didn’t hear tornado sirens or any indication there was danger. We waited for updates, allowing the quads to stay up a bit later than usual just in case. They watched the World Series as we watched for weather warnings. As they enjoyed their time staying up late, I stocked our under the stairs closet with flashlights, board books, and light up toys.

As I scurried around making sure our under the stairs closet was in order, the quads were oblivious. Thankfully, I cleaned the closet out just last week so I really just had to make sure I removed their Super Seats and brought a few things to keep them occupied.

Harper abandoned watching the game so he could crawl into our bunker.

Despite the nagging feeling there was a serious storm coming, we tucked the quads into their cribs for the night. Not ten minutes after all four kids were settled, a horrible whir began and hail began pummeling our windows and roof. Both George and I recalled the last major storm that passed through and shattered nearly every window in our home and pulverized our roof. There was no way our babies were staying in their rooms if there were a slight chance of a rerun of that storm. George and I sprung into action, whipping the closet door open, snatching babies from their cribs and then stuffing them into our bunker (aka under the stairs closet). Despite being ripped from their snugly beds and literally shoved into a tight space, all four did exceptionally well. The storm rolled on for well over 20 minutes, keeping us confined to the closet. We managed to entertain the crew with a board book, flashlights, and bubbles. Once calm was restored, we carefully tucked each of the children back into bed and they snuggled up as if they were never disrupted.

Yes, six people and two dogs fit snugly into our under the stairs closet. Sasha wore her Thundershirt because she has severe anxiety during storms.

Remembering the saga of the previous storm, George immediately called our insurance company to schedule an adjuster to check our roof. We didn’t notice any leaks or obvious damage, but our roof was totaled before with little evidence without careful examination. When our family came over for dinner this evening, they all asked what happened to our neighborhood. Apparently there is debris covering the front lawns, driveways, and entire street.

This is what’s left of our Gerber daisies.

Our flowerbeds were laced in hailstones.

Here’s a pile of hailstones that accumulated on our back porch.

Has a storm ever caught you by surprise?

hugs,

Amber

Toddler Tips #25: No More Slippin’

October 24, 2013January 13, 2014Amber 8 Comments

With each passing day, I find myself trying to solve some new challenge with raising four toddlers, aka “quaddlers”. They are a cunning lot who inspires a little ingenuity on my part (and George’s) just to manage day to day life. While my ideas are born from being surrounded by four toddlers, I think many of them could be helpful to any parents of little ones so I’m sharing.

Last week, I shared my tip for holding off the pee pee flood gates in the bath tub. Several of you noticed our huge bathtub mat in the picture I posted. Which brings me to another tip. When the babies transitioned from bath seats to sitting independently, it became apparent that the tub floor was too slippery for them. I picked up a bath mat at Target, but was dismayed when it would not stick to the texture on our bathtub floor. I tried putting a bath towel down, but it floated up and made a huge mess for me to contend with.

No matter how hard I tried, this mat would not stick to our bathtub and instead floated up, making an even bigger slip hazard.

That’s when the idea struck, I simply turned the mat we had so it stuck on the sides of the bath tub rather than the floor. It worked perfectly! However, it did not cover near enough real estate for multiple babies in the bath tub. I picked up a second mat and now they are flush against each other, creating a large area.

What appears to be an oversize bathmat, is actually two identical bathmats.

Anna, from All Bad Things Must End, shared her favorite toddler bath tip and I gave it a whirl. While the bath water was running, I attempted to sit the babies on the toilet (individually of course) without a diaper to encourage them to urinate on the toilet. It didn’t go so well. Rylin had a major meltdown complete with back arching and wailing. The other three sat a little more willingly, but no action. I’m not throwing in the towel on this one yet. I will revisit this idea in a few months because I think it’s a brilliant way to begin the concept of toilet training. I will also try it with a toddler seat, I think the seat would make a huge difference, but I just don’t have one yet. Thank you for sharing, Anna!

What is your favorite toddler tip?

hugs,

Amber

Picky Palates, Pleased! {Good Groceries review}

October 21, 2013Amber Leave a comment

Toddlerhood (or quaddlerhood in our house) is a time of many transitions from being a baby to a big kid. This is especially apparent with feeding. The days of bottles and thin purees are a thing of the past. I knew spoon feeds were over when Harper started letting whatever was on his spoon drop from his mouth, filling his bib. He quickly asserted his independence and insisted upon self feeding. That doesn’t mean that feeding is necessarily more simple. The quads are limited in what they can self feed since they have approximately eight teeth a piece and have finicky toddler palates to boot.

What the quads will eat varies from day-to-day. For example, steamed carrots are usually a fan favorite, but they’ve been refused with animosity as well. Plus, each of the quads has his or her own opinions about food. Mason would be content to survive on fruit and yogurt alone while Sydney prefers protein and carbohydrates.

There is one thing they all consistently agree upon: cookies and crackers. All four know how to sign, “more”, (“please” is emerging also) but they only sign for desired items. When we were given an opportunity to sample a line of organic and natural snack items under the Suzie’s brand from Good Groceries, I jumped at the chance. When feeding the quads, I prefer to avoid additives and preservatives as much as possible, and Good Groceries has the same philosophy.

I was puzzled when our UPS driver delivered a giant box to our doorstep a few weeks back. We order many things online, but I could not recall ordering anything of this size. I excitedly sliced the tape off the top and peeled back the box top to find our shipment of snacks from Good Groceries. They generously provided us with an assortment of their snack crackers and milk alternatives. I was expecting something, but did not anticipate getting to sample so many products from their Suzie’s brand.

Our shipment included: cilantro/ garlic/ green chili naan crackers, plain unsweetened quinoa milk, vanilla sweetened quinoa milk, vanilla unsweetened quinoa milk, sesame kamut flatbread, ancient grain flatbread, breadsticks, olive oil crackers, rosemary sesame crackers, tomato oregano crackers, sourdough puffed rice crackers, ancient multigrain crackers, baby biscuits, thin cakes with sesame, and salted thin cakes.

Shortly after our box arrived, it was coincidentally snack time. Thus, we began our taste test with the baby biscuits. Before giving the babies anything, I always sample first to make sure it’s okay. I was pleasantly surprised by the light shortbread flavor and soft texture of the baby biscuits. I hate to admit it, but I scarfed a few of these myself! They crumbled with ease so they would be safe for babies with few (or no) teeth. Apparently the babies agreed as they gobbled the biscuits up and eagerly signed “more, please” repeatedly. Needless to say, the baby biscuits did not last long in our house.

As I snapped this picture, Rylin became impatient and attempted to grab the entire box for herself (she didn’t realize the contents were in the white bag centered on the table).

Sydney tends to be the most challenging to please, but she signed “more” for these with gusto.

In our house, we go through 3-4 gallons of cow’s milk per week. Since it takes up too much space in our refrigerator, we have to make multiple trips to the grocery store to keep the milk flowing. Sometimes, we run out of milk in the day so I keep a variety of milk alternatives that do not require refrigeration (until opened) on hand. I had no idea quinoa milk existed prior to receiving some. It is definitely another option or us to keep on hand for the days when cow’s milk is gone.

Thankfully, we don’t have any dietary restrictions, but for those who do, quinoa milk is dairy and gluten free, and is also vegan.

I found the quinoa milk to have a rich, nutty flavor and wasn’t sure the quads would approve. They did! The boys gulped it just like they do with cow’s milk! They even enjoyed the unsweetened version.

I’m personally not a big milk drinker, but I enjoy the occasional bowl of cereal for breakfast. I thought the nutty flavor of quinoa milk was a nice balance for slightly sweet cereal.

All of the saltine crackers are packaged into portion sized four packs, which is perfect for making quick lunches or tossing in the diaper bag. Four packs are always a winner with quads! Plus, portion sized packages keep crackers from going stale.

Each of the saltines paired well with crudites and cheese (any variety). I especially enjoyed the herb flavored crackers- tomato & oregano and rosemary & sesame. They were flavorful alone, but nice compliments to spreads.

Sydney LOVED Suzie’s saltines and sourdough rice tops so much, she swiped one from Rylin. Notice, she has one in her fist and the other gripped between her teeth.

The babies screeched and begged for more thin cakes at each snack time. Unlike typical puffed crackers, Suzie’s are extremely thin and soft enough for babies to munch. As a decadent treat for myself, I spread chocolate hazelnut spread over them. They were also tasty with peanut butter, which is a protein source go-to for the quads.

The naan crackers were the perfect companion for my crock pot green chicken chili on a cool fall night. Rylin caught me snacking on them one day and plead for a taste. I was a little hesitant due to the heat in them, but she said, “Mmmm!” and signed “more please”. I guess she is a true Texan with a pepper belly.

George and I found the flatbread perfect with our Greek pasta salad and homemade hummus. Just like with the crackers, they were flavorful enough alone, but paired well with spreads.

So what about nutritional value? Suzie’s brand uses ancient grains: quinoa, kamut, spelt, buckwheat, and oats as well as flax, sesame, and poppy seeds. Therefore, I was pleased to find at least two to three grams of protein in each serving. Because these are snacks, they aren’t totally void of sodium, sugar, and carbohydrates, but these less desirable ingredients are minimal. Therefore, I felt confident feeding them to the quads. Best of all, our entire family enjoyed the products we sampled.

Suzie’s brand products can be found nationwide at supermarket, natural, specialty, and club stores, in addition to online at amazon.com and goodgroceries.com. Because many of our household items are purchased via Amazon, I was very happy to know we could buy refills of our favorite Suzie’s items there.

hugs!

Amber

P. S. I would like to thank Good Groceries for kindly providing the array of snacks for us to sample and review. No other compensation was provided. All thoughts and opinions are 100% my own.

Shawver Shenanigans

October 20, 2013Amber 2 Comments

Shawver Shenanigans

1. Sydney is a stealthy climber, she did this when I turned my back.

2. Harper is all boy, and an aspiring super hero. He turned his bib into a cape at lunch.

3. Mason learned how to strip his pants off during nap this week. At first, I thought it was a fluke, but he repeated the process two more times so I let him sleep sans pants. He hasn’t figured out how to open the tabs on his diaper, but it’s only a matter of time. Duct tape may soon become a fashion accessory for Mason.

4. This is pretty much the scene before all meals. As we load the babies into the quad table, those waiting bull rush the gate and wail. As a result, it is bolted into the wall.

5. The babies aren’t the only ones getting into mischief around our house…

When making dinner, the freezer exploded on George, spilling corn everywhere. Fortunately, Sasha came to the rescue and helped with clean up efforts. Who knew dogs like frozen corn???

Friday evening, George mixed up a good cocktail for Grandpa and himself. While Nisey and I sorted baby clothes, the pair nodded off in the den (before 10 pm).

When friends joined us for dinner, George and Alan, saw the quad table a fit place for enjoying dessert.

What’s shaking at your house?

hugs,

Amber

Toddler Tips #1: Tinkle Catcher

October 15, 2013January 13, 2014Amber 12 Comments

I’m ecstatic to launch our new series, Toddler Tips. With each passing day, I find myself trying to solve some new challenge with raising four toddlers, aka “quaddlers”. They are a cunning lot who inspires a little ingenuity on my part (and George’s) just to manage day to day life. While my ideas are born from being surrounded by four toddlers, I think many of them could be helpful to any parents of little ones.

Dating all the way back to the days of the NICU, I can recall that all four of our children have peed in their bathwater. As soon as their little piggy toes make contact with the water, the flood gates open. When they were tiny infants it didn’t bother me too much. Perhaps because I expected the volume was small, or maybe because they were in the infant tub and got their own fresh water. Once they could sit up, we began pairing them up or even dunking all four in the same water. The thought of bathing in urine, especially someone else’s disgusts me.

While the babies were in the NICU, we bathed them in tiny plastic tubs. It’s incredible that they fit into those things.

We used bath seats like this when they could sit up, but not with the buoyancy of water.

Alas, a four baby dunk.

Then the idea struck! Now, I dress them down to their diapers and stand them in the water for a few seconds before removing the diaper. Before I totally remove the diaper, I peel back the tabs just to make sure they’re done. Voila! No more pee pee in the water (they could tinkle a little more, but this prevents the flood gates at least). I always check for two minor details 1. check the diaper to make sure it’s not soiled 2. don’t let them sit prematurely.

Stay tuned for more toddler tips. There’s good stuff coming because necessity is the mother of invention! If you have any toddler tips of your own, I’d love to hear them. If I try a great one, I’ll feature it and give credit where it’s due. I’m always open to ingenious ideas.

hugs!

Amber

Cast a Light in the Darkness

October 15, 2013October 15, 2013Amber 13 Comments

Today, October 15th, is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. Each year on this day, I reflect upon the past few years with the challenges we’ve overcome. It’s hard to believe that just two years ago, our dreams of having a family seemed shattered. After our third round of IUI, George and I finally got the coveted BFP (big fat positive). When we went to the first ultrasound, we saw the most beautiful, strong fluttering heartbeat. I recall my doctor happily stating that 97% of the time when a strong heartbeat is seen, the baby is delivered to term. We were filled with naivety and confidence after that appointment. So confident, in fact, that I went alone to the next ultrasound appointment. Epic mistake.

At the second appointment, the dreaded words, “Your baby stopped growing” stung my ears. I recall a numbness filled with confusion. I thought, “What does she mean???” I sat in the doctor’s office alone in a horrid paper gown flummoxed. That was when I became the newest member of yet another club that no one want wants to join- the “I suffered a miscarriage” club.

Unfortunately, miscarriage is relatively common, estimated to occur in 10-20% of pregnancies. It happens to our mothers, aunts, cousins, sisters, daughters, and best friends. Yet, it alienates us from the very people we hold dearly because only those in the dreadful club truly understand the agony it causes. Sometimes we suffer alone, while other times we openly share our wounds only to find that those who love us inflict even more pain. Prior to my own experience, I didn’t have the foggiest concept of miscarriage. Perhaps I was an offender to those around me, saying “helpful” things that were anything but. Because miscarriage is common, chances are you know or will know someone in the dreaded club so please be a friend to her and consider my thoughts on the matter.

Recognize that your friend is grieving. Even though the baby was tiny and perhaps she didn’t even know the baby’s gender, the mother was attached to her baby the minute she knew he existed. She had hopes and dreams for her baby that were crushed. Most of all, it was the loss of what will never be. With each passing day, the mother knows her baby will never be part of her family to celebrate holidays, snap family portraits, or to snuggle at night. That is devastating. It is not the same as other losses, but it is a loss nonetheless and the mother is experiencing legitimate grief. Consequently, she needs the help of her friends so,

Don’t marginalize her pain or experiences with insensitive words such as, “At least it was early. ” or “It was God’s plan”, or “Everything happens for a reason”.
Don’t ignore her grief. It is just as hurtful for friends to ignore the pain of a miscarriage as it is for them to say something insensitive.
Don’t inquire about future family planning or make statements about whether the couple should continue trying or not. Unless your friend specifically seeks advice in this area, it’s really none of your business.

Instead,

Keep your words simple and supportive. “I’m so sorry for your loss”, “You are in my thoughts and prayers”, or “I am here to listen.” can be very powerful. There’s no need to say more because chances are you may inadvertently say something hurtful.
Send her something letting her know you are thinking of her. A simple card is plenty, but flowers or donations to charities in the family name are other thoughtful ways to honor the loss.
If you have a new baby or are an expectant mother, understand that your friend may find it difficult to talk to you about your baby or pregnancy. It has nothing to do with you. Rather, your friend is likely experiencing intense pain that is exacerbated by seeing your joy. She is not jealous of you, but she is reminded of her loss. Give her time and she will find healing.
Help her seek help (if needed). After a miscarriage, the mother’s hormones are in a state of flux where emotions run high and low. For most mothers, intense feelings, including depression subside within a few months. If your friend seems to be struggling immensely after several months pass, encourage her to speak with her physician.

If you are reading this, I hope you head my thoughts about this if it happens to a friend of yours. Miscarriage is an extremely difficult experience and the support of friends is critical.

Tonight, we will light this candle for an hour in memory of our first as we will do every year.

Tonight, we will light this candle at 7:00 pm for an hour in memory of our first baby, helping create the “wave of light” across the world.

hugs,

Amber

Shawver Shenanigans

October 13, 2013Amber 6 Comments

If a baby changes everything….four babies turn life upside down! Being Type A personalities, George and I attempt to run a tight ship, maintaining a predictable schedule and keeping everything in it’s place. I really like order. Yet, quadruplets have a way of forcing us to loosen the reigns and be far more flexible. We’re learning to roll with the punches more each day. We often just have sit back and enjoy the ride, taking it all in stride. If we took ourselves too seriously, we’d be in for a treacherous road.

1. Sydney is undoubtedly clever. She figured out the perfect way to stop a runny nose…

2. Saturday night we went to a friend’s surprise 30th birthday with the quads in tow. In honor of the occasion, they were dressed in their cutest Halloween outfits, accessorized with boots and all. I hoped we’d capture a an equally cute family snapshot. Instead, we got this: