Today our hearts are full of joy as we celebrate the birth of Christ!
A child is born to us!
A son is given to us!
And he will be our ruler.
He will be called, “Wonderful Counselor,”
“Mighty God,” “Eternal Father,” “Prince of Peace”.
Isiah 9:6
with peace,
Amber
Long before becoming a parent, I remember watching both my aunt and cousin struggle to potty train their children. Both were moms to bright kids with extensive vocabularies, and they were good moms. These children seemed fully capable of being toilet trained but clearly their parents were committing fatal errors in the process. Being trained in behaviorism, I had many theories as to why they were failing and didn’t mind dishing out “helpful” advice whether it was requested or not. Both of these moms struggled for YEARS with potty training their children. I naively believed I would have a smooth potty training experience in my future. Ideally, my children would be accident free by two years old and would never, ever wear a pull up.
“Give me a dozen healthy infants, well-formed, and my own specified world to bring them up in and I’ll guarantee to take any one at random and train him to become any type of specialist I might select — doctor, lawyer, artist, merchant-chief and, yes, even beggar-man and thief, regardless of his talents, penchants, tendencies, abilities, vocations, and race of his ancestors.”
–John Watson, Behaviorism, 1930
At age two, Mason and Rylin showed some interest in using the toilet. We bought a toddler sized potty seat and began modeling for them. Shortly thereafter they began sitting on their potty seat and occasionally peed. Victory!!! Harper and Sydney weren’t as interested, but occasionally sat on the potty seat too. By about 2.5, the girls were waking up dry in the morning and I felt they were gaining bladder control. I wasn’t ready to delve into full-fledged potty training, but continued modeling for the kids and added an embedded seat to the toilet with potty stool to their bathroom. At this point, Rylin was able to keep her pull up dry, but was unable to have a BM in the toilet due to gastrointestinal issues (she sees a specialist for them). Shortly before the kids turned three, I decided it was time to hunker down and use the “Three Day Method” for all four kids. I consulted numerous articles, books, and of course, my most powerful resource, other quad moms.
I collected an arsenal of supplies including:
The night before kicking off potty training, we removed all rugs leaving bare tile and plank that could easily be wiped down. I created clean up stations in key rooms, which included a roll of paper towels, Lysol wipes, and Nature’s Miracle stain remover. In the bathroom, I kept a stack of fresh undies, books and magazines, and a trash can for soiled clothes. Knowing potty training quads was too much even for me, I solicited the help of Nisey for three days, and George was off work. The first morning when the quads woke up, we presented them with their very own personalized potty seats (I put their names on them using stickers to prevent squabbling over a particular seat), new undies, and t-shirts they chose at Target.
As expected, the first day was rough, there were lots of accidents. Fortunately, there were many successes too. Even Harper who never successfully peed on the potty learned this skill. On the second and third day, the kids were getting the hang of peeing on the toilet, but not one would poop. I consulted other moms of multiples and discovered that many kids took several weeks before they consistently pooped the toilet even though their parents considered them “trained” after the three days. I took comfort knowing this and we continued the potty training process. Nearly a month later not one child pooped on the potty. Ever. Some accidents were so bad that I cut undies off the child so I wouldn’t have to pull the mess over their legs. Numerous undies made it to the trash. I felt defeated. What was I to do? Call the Worst Potty Trainer for advice, of course.
I know, who would call the person who admittedly failed at potty training not once, but three times? Me because I FINALLY understood why she failed. When I called my cousin, Jennifer, self-proclaimed worst potty trainer ever, I could hear her husband laughing audibly in the background. I wasn’t seeking advice to “fix” the problem or to magically train the children. I knew I presented the opportunity for success, but for one reason or another they weren’t ready for it. I needed reassurance that it was okay to stop with all the pressure and let the kids wear pull ups, for their comfort and my sanity. (At this point my sanity was hanging on by a thread). Jennifer taught me a new mantra that I repeat in my head multiple times per day,
“Absent extenuating health issues or extraordinary circumstances, your pre-schooler will not go to kindergarten pooping in his or her pants.” -Jennifer Knott, Confessions of a Pastor’s Family
Jennifer also gave me this piece of wisdom,
“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
Matthew 6:34
God’s desire is for us not to worry.
After our conversation, I put all the undies away and added Pampers Easy Ups Training Pants to my monthly subscribe and save with Amazon mom. And, more importantly, I breathed a sigh of relief. I let go of all the pressure to “train the kids”. I left all the potty seats in the bathroom and continued praise for success, but the stresses of watching for signs, cleaning up messes, and utter frustration were relieved. About four or five weeks after quitting potty training, Mason disappeared from the dinner table. I thought he headed to the playroom, but soon heard a little voice proclaim, “I pooped on the potty!!!!” Everyone leapt from their seats to confirm his claim. The other three kids screeched in delight saying, “Mace, YOU DID IT!!!!” We all beamed in pride. And you know what? Mason has continued using the toilet independently for weeks. The others aren’t quite there, but they’ve had successes here and there, and they will go to kindergarten using the potty. I’m done potty training, and I’m good with that. Our attention has shifted more to one of “toilet learning” than toilet training, and it’s much less stressful for all of us.
P. S. I’m fully aware of the MANY potty training techniques available to get the job done, and I bet I’ve tried the majority of them. I know that numerous parents have met success with such techniques. You may even be tempted to share your own nuggets of advice, but please just keep them to yourself 😉
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Potty Training Twins: A Series of Stops and Starts
Potty Training Quadruplets- 101
Toilet Learning vs Toilet Training
You’re Doing it Wrong: 48 Tips from the Worst Potty Trainer, Ever
When I was a child, my mother always made my Halloween costumes, and she was quite creative. I went through a few years of wanting to be things instead of people. Long before the invent of Pinterest, mom managed to craft costumes including a bag of M & M candies, a shocking pink Crayola Crayon, and a bunch of purple grapes. When the quads arrived, I was determined to follow her example of creating cute costumes without spending much, if any money.
When the quads were infants, Aunt CiCi made them mummy onsies. The next year, we used white t-shirts to make four of a kind playing cards. When they were two years old, we went as Noah’s Ark; the kids wore animal print clothing with coordinating ears and tails. These first few Halloweens, the quads tolerated whatever I chose for them. As threenagers they weren’t quite so complacent. In the weeks leading up to Halloween, the excitement over the holiday began. Throughout the day they’d inform me what costume they intended to wear, which primarily consisted of favorite television show characters. Feeling defeated, I decided I would take them to Target to choose their own costumes (gasp!) Much to my delight, Target was running a buy one, get one free sale on children’s Halloween costumes. If I was going to fork out cash for Halloween costumes, at least I’d get them for a bargain.
After cruising the crowded costume aisles several times over, each child chose their own costume. I could hardly contain my excitement when they managed to coordinate with one another as superheroes: Supergirl, Captain America, and Spiderman. Proving the purchase was worthwhile, the quads wore their costumes nearly everyday after we brought them home. And, I believe they will continue wearing them throughout the year.
Mason wasn’t keen on the Spidey mask so I found a Spiderman baseball hat at Target for him to wear instead. Rylin added her own flare to her costume by adding a sparkling tiara. Harper and Sydney were excited that they were compliments to one another.
Our neighborhood is the perfect place for trick or treating. As soon as the sun begins setting, families clad in Halloween costumes begin lining the sidewalks. Homeowners (or kind relatives) perch on the driveways sharing treats while spooky music fills the air. There are so many trick or treaters, most people realize that closing the front door is a fruitless effort. Some families leave a clever note and basket of treats on the porch while they enjoy the festivities for themselves.
The quads had a hard time understanding the concept of taking only one treat from a bucket so I had to keep an eye on them.
Sometimes the treats looked so yummy, we had to stop walking to nosh on one.
Once we were back at the house, the kids began tearing through their treat buckets for goodies. We let them choose a few favorites before confiscating the haul. Sneakily, we distracted them by charging them with passing out treats for our visitors.
How did you spend your Halloween night?
Hugs!
Amber
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Long before our kids made their debut, George and I loved conquering DIY projects and decorating our home. We are quite thrifty and find joy in such projects. Every project begins with inspiration, and many times it’s from a design site, or my favorite, the Pottery Barn catalog. Oh how the Pottery Barn catalog speaks to my inner designer’s heart. Everything is always impeccably tidy and organized, yet inviting and warm. Whether there’s a dining room set to host a meal or a cozy sofa by the fireplace, I’d love to jump right in. While I come up with some fantastic Pottery Barn hacks, looking at these glossy pages sometimes skews my expectations for our home.
Is our home well-designed, cozy, and inviting? I believe so, and our friends and family seem to agree. Our home is filled with heart and it’s the very place where an abundance of family memories are made, but it’s no Pottery Barn catalog. Every night after all of the children are snug in their beds, I scurry around the house working to fight clutter. Though the kids tidied up themselves, there are always stray toys posing as tripping hazards, a sink of dirty dishes, dirty shoes and clothes littering the floor. And that’s just the clutter. Let’s not even entertain the dust bunnies, finger prints, and pet dander (I try to ignore those things when possible because there’s never enough hours in a day).
Once the kids were in toddler beds, unbelievable shenanigans ensued. I’m talking, flipped beds, stripped boys, peeing contests, drawer emptying, clothes swapping. We thought if we moved the boys into bigger, heavier beds some of this would stop. Nope. This pair is clever and has an uncanny way at finding solutions to any problem they encounter. We pray they develop their curiosity and ingenuity to future careers…
Because of this, the boy’s room isn’t quite up to par with the girl’s grown up room, but it’s okay. It’s real. They have the same DIY Jenny Lind headboards attached to the wall. They have some artwork, which is also secured to the wall and out of reach as they’ve been known to hang from paintings, snapping the picture wire. Harper no longer has a foundation to his bed since he developed a routine of turning the mattress to create a teeter totter, which he told us was his car. Their lamp is on the hutch, far out of reach since they dangled it by the cord and said it was their lantern.
Bedtime is full of epic stalling techniques. Once these four created a bridge of kitchen stools and began chanting in delight.
My seagrass baskets meant to conceal toys in the den are often tipped over, allowing kids to crawl into the entertainment center.
This was one of the girls’ “masterpieces” created during nap time one afternoon.
A while back, I developed a habit of making our bed. It takes about 90 seconds and makes me feel more accomplished as I begin the day. However, little people are known to sabotage my efforts by hiding among the pillows. Frustrating as it can be, they are simply adorable when they do this.
There are days when all of the clutter and grime in the house makes me feel anxious. I wonder to myself why it isn’t like a Pottery Barn catalog. Why can’t I keep things in a better state? Well, duh! OUR HOME IS NOT A POTTERY BARN CATALOG! Families don’t live in catalogs, they are merely spaces created by designers to sell products. They are void of all the love and joy of a home, and memories are not made there. I’ll probably always continue my battle against clutter and work endlessly to keep things as tidy as possible, but it won’t be because I’m striving for a catalog photo shoot. These things will continue because I’m the type of person who thrives in an orderly state and I simply cannot let it completely go. I can change my state of mind, however. Instead of feeling defeated, I can recall the events of the day. When I trip over a Hot Wheel or Lego, I can remember the kids building a mighty tower and racing cars together and pick them up with a joyous heart.
Maybe it’s not a Pottery Barn catalog that makes you feel as though you don’t measure up. Perhaps it’s your friend’s Facebook photos of glamorous vacations and hip parties. Maybe it’s a coworker who easily meets goals, or the friend who eats a strictly organic diet and runs marathons. Whatever the case, remember where your heart is, and stop making comparisons.
hugs,
Amber
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Last year, the quads visited a pumpkin patch for the first time, and I knew it should become a family tradition. There’s something about taking a hayride on a crisp day and the sight of bright orange pumpkins littering an open field that signals onset of autumn. However, here in Texas most October days felt like summer with temperatures in the 80-90’s. This summery weather stifled our autumn spirit. When this weekend promised a cool front, we promised four little people a trip to the pumpkin patch. Unfortunately, the cool front was accompanied by torrential rain, which did not bode well for our plans. After our local meteorologist promised a slight reprieve in the afternoon, George and I knew we needed to keep good on our promise. Anticipating plenty of mud, we took the kids to Payless Shoes to score some new kicks appropriate for mud. They were trilled at finding rain boots clad beloved characters: Minnie Mouse, Spiderman, Anna & Elsa, and Lightning McQueen. The boys were equally ecstatic we had an occasion for them to wear batman rain coats.
The boys proudly hauled their pumpkins into the farm-house for purchase. These pumpkins will decorate or porch for Halloween, and then will be roasted for spiced pumpkin soup next month.
The kid’s rain boots proved worth every penny we spent on them. Rylin happily twirled, hopped, and splashed about an enormous puddle.
Though many of the typical farm activities weren’t open due to the weather, the kids enjoyed visiting the rabbit, chickens, and farm dog. They also experienced a see saw for the first time. Unfortunately, see saws are quite dangerous and required close supervision, hence, not photos. Sorry, folks!
Things don’t always go as we originally envision, but when we embrace life, they can be better than we imagined. I’m glad we didn’t let a little rain and mud spoil our plans because we made the best kind of memories in the moment.
Hugs,
Amber
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As we cruised the aisles of Costco, George stopped in his tracks. “Skelly dog is FIVE DOLLARS!!!”, he proclaimed with delight. I sighed, knowing exactly what he was thinking. He added, “It was $10, but now it’s only $5. I NEED this.” I could have sworn this was one of my children clamoring over a new toy instead of my husband. Sarcastically, I remarked, “Need? Really?!?!” This Halloween decoration, a skeleton mutt, was as unappealing to me as George’s prized Halloween decoration, Elmer.
Yet, I knew we’d adopt the little mongrel because George loved it. What surprised me was how much Harper also loved the little fella. When we got home, Harper insisted we open Skelly Dog from his box right away. Then, he proceeded to carry him around gleefully. Last Halloween, Harper was terrified of George’s kitschy Halloween decor, but this year he’s all aboard. It looks like George may have a protege after all. Halloween has never been my favorite holiday, but my family is certainly warming my heart to the holiday.
A boy and his dog….
On Halloween night, Elmer will escape from the attic to perch on our porch with our little pet, Skelly Dog. Happy Halloween!
hugs,
Amber
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Since I was expecting quadruplets I knew my babies would have a NICU stay, and I knew it would be difficult. In the months that led up to delivery, I communicated with other moms of quadruplets and braced myself for the inevitable. In the first week or so, I was managing NICU life relatively well, but as the days and weeks passed, it wore on my heart. Seeing my babies struggle each day hurt. About that time, our hospital’s resident art therapist, Diana, paid us a visit and the timing was impeccable. Diana bonded with our family immediately and quickly began working on a masterpiece. As the years pass and NICU life fades into memories, this piece of art remains as a salient reminder of just how much our babies have grown. Right now, the painting is housed in our study’s curio cabinet, but at every birthday celebration, it’s a centerpiece of the party decor.
Sydney was so tiny that preemie sized clothes were far too large. Her foot was about the length of my thumb.
Exactly three years and two days after meeting Diana, the kids and I returned to the hospital for a specialist appointment. The appointment was at 8:30 am and I was running solo, which meant it was a huge undertaking to get everyone ready. I decided for the amount of effort required to go to this appointment, we’d make it into a day long field trip. Following the appointment, we stopped by the Build a Bear workshop where the quads beloved teddy bears were born. There, each of the kids bought undies for their bear. Next, we popped by Starbucks where I treated myself to a caramel frapuccino to sip while the kids darted about the play area. The kids had a blast exploring the hospital where they were once long term residents.
Just as it was time to head home, I spotted the smiling face of a woman clad in splatter paint from head to toe. It was none other than Diana herself! Though it had been three years and the quads had grown, she remembered us immediately. I am forever grateful for the gift of art Diana gave us at a difficult time, and I can only imagine the many hearts she’s touched and will touch. Reuniting with Diana was the perfect opportunity to thank her for the impression she made years prior. Sometimes it really is the little things that leave the biggest impression on us.
Hugs!
Amber
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After the kid’s birthday, I always enjoy their well checks. It may seem strange, but I really like spending the time to track their growth and developmental milestones (I may also like bragging about them a tad at the pediatrician’s office). I try to make the day special for them too. They are allowed to wear “top shelf” clothes, which are reserved for special occasions and afterwards we do something special together. At age two, I split them into two appointments: boys and girls. It was nice having just two kids with me and I plan to schedule like that in the future especially as they change. However, it worked better this year to book a quad appointment.
Unfortunately on the day of our appointment, the office was running behind and we waited over thirty minutes to go back. The crew behaved really well and lapped up the attention they received from office staff. They watched a movie in the waiting room, assembled puzzles, ate lollipops, read books, and built Lego towers. As far as they were concerned, it was play time. I was concerned whether they’d continue this behavior once we went into the exam room, but they were impeccable.
Nisey was a little tired of the wait, however.
During the exam, our pediatrician was pleased with everyone’s overall development and was surprised that in some areas they were ahead of what is expected of three-year olds. For instance, they are beginning to color within the lines and communicate using lengthy sentences. We need to work more on independence skills such as dressing themselves fully though. It’s often easier for me to do things for them so I’ve stifled their opportunity to develop a few skills. No surprise to me, all four are on the petite side, but growing at a satisfactory rate: Stats are as follows:
Rylin- 2″ 10.5″ tall and 25 pounds, 9 ounces
Harper- 3′ .05″ tall and 32 pounds
Sydey- 2′ 10″ tall and 23 pounds
Mason- 2′ 10.8″ tall and 24 pounds
hugs!
Amber
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Birthday parties are one of the few times it’s more cost-effective to have four children at the same time. Instead of hosting four parties throughout the year, we throw one big bash for four kids. For the big one, we hosted a splash party at our home, and when they turned two we had a pirates and princesses soirée at the house. I enjoy decking the house for parties, but it’s hot outside in July and guests end up cramped in the den. This year I decided the party would be away from home with limited prep and clean up. We rented a local church’s jungle themed playscape. I ran with the existing decor for a safari party. My friend, Amber, designed custom invitations, which I printed myself. She is expanding her Etsy shop, Texas Take, to include invitations and other printables. For your next shindig, check out her collection. If you don’t see something that fits your theme, she can create something unique for you.
I was disappointed at the lack of safari party supplies and favors at our local party and big box stores, but Amazon did not disappoint. I scored paper bags at Hobby Lobby in the kid’s colors and filled them with Amazon trinkets including: neon animal print pencils, animal print notebooks, make-a-zoo animal sticker sheets, and flashlight key chains, all of which coincidentally came in the same four colors as the bags. I also ordered each party guest a beige pith helmet to add to our party ambiance. Keeping with our prior party tradition, my friend Jen, snapped photos of the party. It means so much to me that she takes pictures because if it were up to me, we’d get home without a single picture. I struggle to host parties and preserve memories of them at the same time.
Since our party wasn’t at home, our menu consisted of easy to prep and serve kid-friendly fare: fresh fruit, veggie straws, animal crackers, popcorn, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and juice boxes. I intended on ordering a Costco sheet cake too, but George insisted on baking and decorating blue and pink velvet cupcakes himself. He did a fantastic job!
As part of our party decor, I printed our three-year photos Jen shot the week prior and mounted them onto canvas using a tutorial from Designer Trapped in a Lawyer’s Body. My little project set me back about $20 and maybe 30 minutes of time. I believe I’ll be making many more canvas photos in the future.
As party guests arrived, we snapped a quick family photo. As usual, we weren’t successful in capturing four smiling kids, but we got this one.
Our venue was ideal for our mix of party guests. The quad’s little guests included another set of quads, a set of triplets, two sets of twins, and five singletons. If you do the math, that’s lots of little people! We also had their teenage cousins, parents, and grandparents at the party. The littlest ones were content hanging out on the playscape while the older kids (and adults) were entertained by the arcade.
This year, we sang Happy Birthday to each of the kids individually. They may share a birth date, but they are individual people so I try to honor that. Rylin and Harper were slightly bashful, while Sydney soaked up the limelight and danced to the tune.
When it was time to open gifts, we lined the kids up at a table where they could be seated. It worked really well for organization.
We managed to wrangle up both sets of quads for a quad squared photo. EIGHT three-year olds and two Ambers in one frame. Wheesh!
Here’s to a year with threenagers….stay tuned!
hugs,
Amber
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Grilled cheese is among my favorite meals, and it has been since I was a child. George prefers a more sophisticated panini, but never complains when we have grilled cheese for dinner, especially when we have tomato soup for dipping. Several years ago Dallas Fort Worth locals started raving about Lee’s Grilled Cheese. It originally opened as a food truck, and later expanded into a brick and motar establishment as well. Recently, I spotted Lee’s Grilled Cheese lists of restaurants to try: Movato’s 15 Best Restaurants in Fort Worth, Best Places for Grilled Cheese in DFW, and 15 Best Places for Grilled Cheese in Fort Worth. At that point, a visit to Lee’s Grilled Cheese made our summer bucket list.
Lee’s was perfect for a little summer nostalgia with its kitschy decor and Ms. Pac Man arcade game. It just so happens that Ms. Pac Man is George’s all time favorite arcade game and he’s a champion player. He spent a few minutes teaching a few kids tricks to playing the game.
Though grilled cheese is a family favorite meal, Rylin is does not like cheese. At all. I sometimes question her allegiance to the family being a cheese hater…. Luckily for her, grilled peanut butter and jelly was on the menu. I went for a grilled ham and havarti, the other kids had American grilled cheese, and George a loaded grilled cheese paired with fresh-cut French fries. Every bite was delicious!
We had fun sampling Lee’s three signature drinks: Lee-mondade, Strawberry Lemonade, and Pirate’s Punch. The Pirate’s Punch was a bit sweet for me, but Harper thought the blue stuff was divine. Both versions of lemonade paired perfectly with our meal, and the kids were great about sharing sips so that everyone got to try each flavor.
Sydney apparently decided crust is not for her and she preferred eating the insides out of her sandwiches.
Cheers for finally trying the cheesiest restaurant around!
hugs,
Amber
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